offensive words

[Ars Sycro]

Re: offensive words

Nobody should skip any of that movie.

[One Second Clubber]

Re: offensive words

Agreed.

[Starving Artist]

Re: offensive words

Ni, is one hell of an offensive word.

[Lye In Your Eye]

Re: offensive words

Lye and ANKOF, both of you presume that the offended person is as mature and self-assured as you seem to be. You don't take into account a person's experiences or emotional stability. You don't give any consideration to the fact that every person or situation is different.

It is true that no one likes to be told what he can and cannot say. No one wants fingers wagging at them and holier-than-thous scolding them. I know I don't.

But it's unrealistic to think that you shouldn't be offended if, say, someone called your mother a fat cunt. Or someone called your (hypothetical) handicapped brother a botched-abortion retard. If that wouldn't offend you, you're an emotional vacuum, and that's your decision. But pointing the finger at your mom or brother and saying it would be their fault if they were offended is fucked up.

The names I was called when I was a child and teenager are still with me. I've moved past that, and I don't give a shit if 95% of the country thinks I'm an ugly stupid cunt. But if my husband ever called me those things I'd never get over it. I don't think giving "meaning" to what he says to me or about me is irrational.

Names have power due to who uses them against us. They also have power due to who used them against us in the past. Chances are if a black person on this board was offended by Erik's use of the word "nigger," it wouldn't be because he thinks so highly of Erik. It might possibly be because he'd been beaten up in the past by someone else using that word.

Saying, "it's your fault if you're offended," is emotionally satisfying because it takes all responsibility off of the person who wants to get off by saying something hateful or controversial or un-PC, but it's still what it is: hateful, rude, or puerile.

So, yeah, while philosophically, what you're arguing has some truth some of the time, it's still presumptuous and hollow to apply it to everyone and every situation.

I feel it is the most admirable quality of people to develop themselves into better people. As such, they should be developing their stability as a person and who they are. If they are offended by something someone says, that shows a crack in their personality that should be worked on. Maybe the should be thanking their "aggressor" for probing their solidity as a self-aware being.

Ok, here's another thing I don't understand. If your husband ever called you an ugly cunt why would your reaction be "I'll never get over this". How about: "I'm getting a new husband."? I'm assuming you chose your husband for reasons that INCLUDED doesn't call me ugly cunt, and in fact finds me attractive. Come on.

Black people are not a good example either. I'm of the point of view that 95% of the reason there is racism against black people is because THEY perpetuate the difference between them and the rest of the country. All the other "races" in our society have integrated much more smoothly. Slavery was hundreds of years ago. I never thought anything different of black people until they started throwing it in my face all the time. They perpetuate the words that are "offensive" they separate their culture from "white" culture. They talk about racism all the time. I know it's not all of the reason because there are some genuinely racist people who hate them out there, but them calling everything (see rev. Jackson and Sharpton) racism when most of the time is not, does not help eradicate this mindset... it only stokes the fire.

It's not the "taking the responsibility off the speaker", it's stop forcing attention on what you want to have less attention. If nobody cared what people said, saying offensive words wouldn't do anything.

[jsbedlam]

Re: offensive words

best movie ever.

[AnewKINDofFEELING]

Re: offensive words

I still stand by my statement that if no one takes offense, the word is, by definition, not offensive.

The N word is a perfect example. If a black man calls another black man a nigga, the word is an acceptable form of communication. However, if that same man were white, the reaction would probably be very harsh to the same exact statement. What this means is not that the word itself is offensive, but rather that the offended party is exhibiting his own form of racism in delineating who is and isn't allowed to use the term. It's not quite the same as white and black water fountains, but it is based in the same ignorance.

Like I said, the offense is in the reaction, not in the word.

[Trathena]

Re: offensive words

Ok, here's another thing I don't understand. If your husband ever called you an ugly cunt why would your reaction be "I'll never get over this". How about: "I'm getting a new husband."? I'm assuming you chose your husband for reasons that INCLUDED doesn't call me ugly cunt, and in fact finds me attractive. Come on.

Part of what I meant by, "I'd never get over it," is that I'd dump him. There'd be no forgiveness or anything, because I'd not accept an apology. And there'd be no passive-aggressive, "you wouldn't be offended if there wasn't a crack in your personality. You should be thanking me for helping you become a more self aware being." I wouldn't fall for that bullshit. It'd just be over.

So yeah, we're on the same page with this at least.

Trathena added 9 Minutes and 36 Seconds later...

The N word is a perfect example. . . .

Like I said, the offense is in the reaction, not in the word.

You do have some good points, and I promise I'm not trying to play semantic games, but I really think that words become offensive when we take into account who is saying them and the spirit in which they're being said.

Take your argument that it's not fair that black people can use the n-word and white people can't. I don't know you, but you've never come across on this board as anything other than intelligent and fair. So when you say this, I know that you're coming from a place of intelligence and fairness.

But if Bill O'Reilly had just used your argument? I'd consider him a racist, who's just trying to defend Bill Bennett or Imus or whatever.

My spouse can say, "Come here, woman." My boss cannot. My girlfriend can greet me with, "Hey, chick!" My boss cannot.

It's context; it's who's saying it; and, yes, it's how those words were used in the past. Words have power, and they always have. It doesn't matter if it's us who give them that power. This doesn't change things. "In the beginning was the Word." We've known this since we climbed down from the trees.

[Lye In Your Eye]

Re: offensive words

Part of what I meant by, "I'd never get over it," is that I'd dump him. There'd be no forgiveness or anything, because I'd not accept an apology. And there'd be no passive-aggressive, "you wouldn't be offended if there wasn't a crack in your personality. You should be thanking me for helping you become a more self aware being." It'd just be over.

So yeah, we're on the same page with this at least.

Trathena added 9 Minutes and 36 Seconds later...



You do have some good points, and I promise I'm not trying to play semantic games, but I really think that words become offensive when we take into account who is saying them and the spirit in which they're being said.

Take your argument that it's not fair that black people can use the n-word and white people can't. I don't know you, but you've never come across on this board as anything other than intelligent and fair. So when you say this, I know that you're coming from a place of intelligence and fairness.

But if Bill O'Reilly had just used your argument? I'd consider him a racist, who's just trying to defend Bill Bennett or Imus or whatever.

My spouse can say, "Come here, woman." My boss cannot. My girlfriend can greet me with, "Hey, chick!" My boss cannot.

It's context; it's who's saying it; and, yes, it's how those words were used in the past. Words have power, and they always have. It doesn't matter if it's us who give them that power. This doesn't change things. "In the beginning was the Word." We've known this since we climbed down from the trees.

Ok, but would it be over because you were hurt and offended or would it be over because he would turn out to not be the person who you had previously considered him to be? That's the question there.

Lye In Your Eye added 1 Minutes and 0 Seconds later...

best movie ever.

you're funny looking. go back to the old avatar.

[Trathena]

Re: offensive words

Ok, but would it be over because you were hurt and offended or would it be over because he would turn out to not be the person who you had previously considered him to be? That's the question there.

All three. I promise I'm not trying to be difficult. But, of course, all three.

However! The hurt and offense would be due to the fact that I love him and care about what he thinks of me. If I didn't love him, I wouldn't give a damn.

Trathena added 0 Minutes and 55 Seconds later...

you're funny looking. go back to the old avatar.

I don't agree with this at all. I think he's adorable.

But you were probably just joking anyway...

[Lye In Your Eye]

Re: offensive words

All three. I promise I'm not trying to be difficult. But, of course, all three.

However! The hurt and offense would be due to the fact that I love him and care about what he thinks of me. If I didn't love him, I wouldn't give a damn.

Gah, come on, be more at peace with yourself. If he were the type of person to say that kind of thing to you you should not care what he think of you.

Lye In Your Eye added 0 Minutes and 25 Seconds later...

I don't agree with this at all. I think he's adorable.

But you were probably just joking anyway...

I don't know what you mean.

[jsbedlam]

Re: offensive words

well now you're just provoking me to post nonsense so you have to look at my ugly mug.

[BuddyGoodness]

Re: offensive words

abortion rape
holocaust 9/11
faggot nigger
pedophilia
necrophilia

that's one hell
of a shopping
list

I say all those things before I get out of bed in the morning

[jsbedlam]

Re: offensive words

what are you going to do, bleed on me?

[Lye In Your Eye]

Re: offensive words

well now you're just provoking me to post nonsense so you have to look at my ugly mug.

That doesn't bother me.

[One Second Clubber]

Re: offensive words

She turned me into a newt...

...I got better...