I agree with you. A word has no meaning; it is merely a noise. The ear and brain interpret said sound into a meaning. This is where offense is taken. You are not offended by what I said, but rather by what you heard.
I don't have the time it takes to recover from the day
I sit and moan and mope and groan and never have my say
A crown of thorns from which is born a little baby bird
To fly away and have its day is nothing but absurd
Lye and ANKOF, both of you presume that the offended person is as mature and self-assured as you seem to be. You don't take into account a person's experiences or emotional stability. You don't give any consideration to the fact that every person or situation is different.
It is true that no one likes to be told what he can and cannot say. No one wants fingers wagging at them and holier-than-thous scolding them. I know I don't.
But it's unrealistic to think that you shouldn't be offended if, say, someone called your mother a fat cunt. Or someone called your (hypothetical) handicapped brother a botched-abortion retard. If that wouldn't offend you, you're an emotional vacuum, and that's your decision. But pointing the finger at your mom or brother and saying it would be their fault if they were offended is fucked up.
The names I was called when I was a child and teenager are still with me. I've moved past that, and I don't give a shit if 95% of the country thinks I'm an ugly stupid cunt. But if my husband ever called me those things I'd never get over it. I don't think giving "meaning" to what he says to me or about me is irrational.
Names have power due to who uses them against us. They also have power due to who used them against us in the past. Chances are if a black person on this board was offended by Erik's use of the word "nigger," it wouldn't be because he thinks so highly of Erik. It might possibly be because he'd been beaten up in the past by someone else using that word.
Saying, "it's your fault if you're offended," is emotionally satisfying because it takes all responsibility off of the person who wants to get off by saying something hateful or controversial or un-PC, but it's still what it is: hateful, rude, or puerile.
So, yeah, while philosophically, what you're arguing has some truth some of the time, it's still presumptuous and hollow to apply it to everyone and every situation.
Last edited by Trathena; September 15, 2008, 11:16 PM.
Reason: clarity
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