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    **I myself am guilty of not having patience with a lot of the new music floating around (although I will say that a lot of the new stuff Pemberton posted has grown on me lately) but it could also be the fact that its just not that good either JK...I've said it before and I'll say it again - quality of music is of opinion, not fact...its in the eye of the beholder. But (other than dredg and The Birthday Massacre) since 2003, my heart is still with the loads of music I grew up with because it was such a surreal emotional time for me and the music is forever tattooed in my memories. Music is definitely my drug of choice. Combine it with alcohol though and it becomes mindblowing LOL. But I might've taken it a little too far this winter since people were concerned about me. I think they thought I was gonna go off the deep end like I did in January of '08 but that experience definitely pre-conditioned me for the past 3 months, as well as the rest of my life (I hope). I guess the heavenly place in my mind that I'm able to reach when I drink a lot is much different from reality. I apparently hallucinate but I have a really hard time realizing it while its going on. It can affect other people's moods if I'm around them and if they let it get to them but its mostly OK because I'm able to stay calm most of the time. If I'm bored, I can get really sarcastically rude even though I feel good...but I've learned that it bothers some people who don't know me that well. They misunderstand my sarcasm for seriousness. And like the lyrics in 'Caffeine' by FNM go: It's not funny anymore...it's the thing you hate the most. In these last 2 winters, I think I took my drunken internet sarcasm so far that it created dead serious matters in my personal life. Last winter, it affected ME because I had been alone for so long and this winter, it affected the PEOPLE AROUND ME...especially the people who were concerned about me...which in turn affected me because I was so concerned about them. Ugghhh...will this ever end? The more people worry about me, the more I worry about them. And I don't wanna worry about anyone else unless its someone in need of help...especially an attractive girl LOL.
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